Blabbering

Once again, I am feeling very tired and bored with all the studying going on and so much that I do not understand. That stupid timo and melmo peeped at my msn messages, a total outrage of my privacy. The landlords should still observe the basic rules of privacy and not infringe into my private life. I hope they will just finish laughing tonight and will not continue to make fun of it come tomorrow. Anyone wants to go mambo this wed? I am almost confirm going unless something last minute cocked everything up. It has been a while since I go and enjoy myself. I think I should just enjoy myself to the max now since life is so unpredictable and so scary. I can just get killed anytime. There is another mass killing in an overseas university again. Life is so unpredictable so why do we want to plan so much when we do not even know how long we can live until? I shall go KFC again to see my Rainie lookalike. She looks cute. This time round, I can look at girls for all I want without any restrictions or whatsoever. No more suspicions, doubtfulness, quarrels, never-ending coaxing etc. Life is turning better now when one is single because we just do not need to care about anything while being single. That is the fun part of being single but the sad part comes when you feel lonely at night and do not know who to call to emo to.

I still believe in the special feeling theory. If the special one comes along, my heart will be revived again. But then again, it is so badly hurt that it has lost all its senses at this moment. Right now everything is just a rebound probably and it is super bad to accept the rebound because you are just being too selfish. Life is about enjoying and not being forced to do anything because of commitment and responsibility. Commitment and responsibility should come from within, if I am not ready for it, I should not deceive myself that I am ready for it. In fact, I have been actually living in self-denial all this while. I will still think of her every now and then but actually I know it myself, I cannot give her what she wants now. It is just too bad that maybe the right people meet at the wrong time. That night I dreamt of my first GF coming to me and asking me like how come I don't recognize her anymore and stuff. It's kind of weird and I have been having a lot of weird dreams recently. What do weird dreams indicate?