Is it real optimism?

After talking to her and sharing most of my inner thought with her just now, I came to realise something and actually it is quite important that I realised it now and not later. It is still the same that I can only share my most inner thoughts with her and nobody else. No one actually knows me as well as she does. I felt that tonight, she actually showed some concern for me because all this while, she has been trying not to show her care and concern openly and thus inevitably made me felt that she does not care about me already. In actual fact, she is just protecting herself. Since she is not ready for a relationship now, I shall not force her to. I'll just let her wound heal slowly with time and hopefully she can start to trust me again. It is going to be a tough period for me but I will pull through it. Meanwhile, I shall work hard and not let this thing bog me down because I am not going to die tomorrow, not next week, not next month, not next year or even the next few decades, thus I shall make full use of the time I have to get much better grades, make more money, be more metrosexual, train to be fitter and slimmer, create a good future for me so that I will be more eligible in case she really cannot accept me again. At least I can make her regret for not choosing me. Haha, it was meant to be a lame joke.

But anyway, what I really need is a change of luck because things are really not going smoothly for me. The first thing I have to do now is not to procrastinate in waking up on time every morning and try my best to go for my lectures because i have to skipping a lot due to late nights to do my flower business. And i need to find time to go k box to practise my singing because i need to sing in class next wed. I'm dead man. Have so much things on hand, have so much things on my mind and have so much wounds on my heart. I hope that work and no time can heal the wounds because the actual antidote is out of stock now. Need to wait for the next arrival.